Finally

I'll start with a promise;
I love you.
Honest.
I always have,
Nothing could stop this.
But something stopped,
What was that?
A romance or a laugh track,
A broken record of lectures,
A checkered flag for bad habits?
Whatever, I'm past it.
I would just ask that
You trust that I did what I had to,
I didn't plan it,
And I just couldn't stand it.
I wasn't prepared for the months long abyss.
My parachute failed.
Deadlines were missed.
I thought I hit bottom, it felt like I did,
But I kept right on falling,
Feared the pit had no end.
As I fell I was thinking,
What was I thinking?
I reminded myself of the reasons,
And continued to fall,
But continued to think,
Of the pictures on the wall.
I took them all down,
But they remained on my mind.
I thought of us often
As hard as that is to believe
It's happy and awesome
And then finally, finally,
I hit and it hurt.
I was jarred by your words.
What I needed was dreaded,
The silence was the worst,
But my quiet was crucial.
I knew I'd implode
I did, it was awful.
I did it alone.
Finally, finally, I knew I was ready
Finally, finally, I was at peace
Looking up from the abyss
I could see you looking back at me.
Waiting for each other.